You know you've been in the Stargate Program when:
by redshirtedensign
Summary: a list of signs to look out for when figuring out if you have been in the program too long...  1 An explanation for two people looking almost identical. Being twins comes 5th or 6th on the list. Number 1 being cloning accident  also on LJ


**You know you've been in the Stargate Program too long when:**

An explanation for two people looking almost identical. Being twins comes 5th or 6th on the list. Number 1 being cloning accident.

Getting shot at for touching a random plant/stone/sculpture/person/unkempt field/whatever no longer surprises you.

You start assembling a rescue party if a team is ten minutes late for a check in.

(friendly) People appearing from thin air don't even raise a red flag.

You carry a side arm even when you visit the parentals

You carry a side arm especially when you visit the parentals

You don't even blink when your boyfriend says he's pregnant.

The botanist sitting next to you can hit the bullseye 9 out of 10 times down on the firing range.

You start being able to follow what the physicists are saying when they go off on one of their techno babble filled mutterings... even if it's all in Czech.

Your CO turning into a bug isn't the strangest thing you've seen.

The most surprising thing about Lt. Cadman isn't that she holds a doctorate, but that she can tap dance.

You immediately start investigating when someone says they're stuck in a time loop.

Your first reaction to not being able to find someone is to assume they've been shrunk to microscopic sizes or invisible.

You don't immediately assume you've gone nuts when your best friend, who died a month ago, suddenly appears behind you in the lift saying the universe is in great danger.

When someone asks "Are little green men involved?" You answer with "They're grey, actually."

People suddenly starting to speaking in Ancient no longer throws you for a loop.

You start comparing the credibility of EVERY Sci-fi's faster than light travel.

Prime-Not- Prime becomes your favourite walking/patrolling/car/stuck-up-a-tree/waiting/whatever game.

You start referring to your place of residence as 'She'.

You understand that when the XO says "Training exercise, search and rescue." And there are jumpers and drones involved; he actually means "The Marines were bored, so we're playing fetch."

Raw alien-land-squid-thing isn't the worst thing you've had to eat.

You've gotten into the habit of having one knife for Them to find, and multiple knives for you to keep.

You've learned to handle McKay.

You've learned to handle Sheppard.

You've learned to handle Jackson.

You've learned to handle O'Neill.

You've learned to handle Vala.

You've learned to understand and speak with raised eyebrows and pointed glances.

You've learned **NOT** to touch the unknown object before someone else. **ESPESCIALLY** when it's of Ancient design.

When something goes wrong your automatic response is "Fucking Ancients!", even when it can't possibly be their fault.

You **CAN** look General Landry in the face and not have to suppress a snicker at his ridiculous caterpillar eyebrows.

You know everybody on the base by name, rank/title, hobbies and number of deaths/presumed KIA.

You start relying on Walter's psychic powers to get the files you need.

You finally understand that Chuck hears all, Chuck sees all and Chuck knows all.

You finally understand that Teyla hears all, Teyla sees all and Teyla knows all.

You've learned that "Botanical incident" is code for "Sex Pollen made us do it."

An exuberant Roman is a dull day...assuming a crack in time is all that's wrong.

You find out the hard way that transporters are not always reliable, sometimes they forget important things... like clothing... when you're going to the mess hall... in peak hour.

You get stuck off world for 6 months, only to get back to find it's barely been 3 hours.

You find out (again, the hard way) Atlantis is a family. You mess with one of them. You mess with all of them. Only Lantians are allowed to mess with Lantians.

You learn if you call Woolsey Picasso or any random artist or musician he doesn't get it.

You learn that if you call Keller, Kaylee she yells "Damnit, I'm a doctor, NOT an engineer."

You learn a lemon a day keeps the McKay away.

You've learned that "Medicine IS a science. It is NOT voodoo. Medicine just saved your ass from dying an extremely painful and embarrassing death."

You hum the Imperial March when the lead bad guy approaches you.

You ask the scientists "What have we got, Mr. Spock?" when approaching them in the labs.

You call your CMO 'Bones'.

You prefer to keep working then take some well deserved leave.

A scientist saying "Oh dear." Makes you nervous.

A scientist saying "Oh shit." Makes you run for cover.

You start calling Sheppard 'Starbuck'.

You start calling Lorne 'Apollo'.

You start calling O'Neill 'Zeus'.

The self-destruct warning no longer sends you running for the exit.

You've learned that if there is even the slightest thing off about someone, chances are that's not them.

Something normal happens and takes you completely off guard.

Whale-like-creatures using images of dying Ancients to warn you of a solar emission is normal.

You get home to find that the only thing in the fridge that doesn't have life forms discovering fire on it is the rum.

Being beamed out at inconvenient times only annoys you a little.

You can pick up any gun, terrestrial or otherwise, and can use it straight away, without even looking.

The Goa'uld are minor inconveniences.

You catch yourself trying to turn lights off with your mind... on Earth.

You can out drink Radek.

The first place you look for your CO is in his office, because he thinks it's the last place you look for him.

You trust someone when they have no proof whatsoever but ask you to trust them.

You no longer wonder why the hell the Asgard don't wear pants.

You suck up to Doctor Parrish because he is the Evil Botanical Overlord of Atlantis.

Fish are beside the point.

You're friends with McKay.

You find that sticking your fingers in your ears and humming loudly solves a whole slew of problems.

Upon meeting Ishtar you call her T'Pol and Teal'c laughs in his way.

When a bunch of Marines run by your door half naked and shrieking, closely followed by scientists yelling, you think it's probably better you don't know.

You've lost count of the amount times you've been captured and put in prison for offending the locals with some inane comment/action.

You've lost count of the times you've been offered up as a sacrifice to the natives' God(s)/Goddess(es).

You can kick your captors' ass, even with your hands tied behind your back.

Those around you don't appreciate that the 'Gate doesn't shake anymore.

The fact that it's ALIEN mud loses its novelty after 30 seconds.

You could swear you've seen that tree/lake/field/chair/candle stick/whatever on another planet.

You've figured out the algorithm SG-1 uses to coordinate their uniform colours.

You get into trouble in a way that no one else has.

You carry excess C-4 strapped to intimate places.

When team members in different parts of the base start singing in unison without prompting.


End file.
